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Sunday, May 15, 2011

Love, The Earth, and Appropriate Force

One of the ongoing challenges of my life, and indeed some of my biggest lessons, have involved using the appropriate force in situations. Force doesn’t have to be a negative thing. Encouragement might be a force, as is an offer to help. It was a break through moment for me when I heard a speaker talk about appropriate force in dealing with conflict in your life. The speaker used the example of killing a mosquito. He said that you had three choices on how to do it: you could either hit it with your hand, with a brick, or with a car. This analogy hit home for me about the way I had handled conflict all my life. Instead of using appropriate force and swatting life’s pests with my hand, I had often attempted to run over them with a car.

This was a learned behavior for me, as I am sure it was for my parents. The problem with hitting all problems with the force of an automobile collision is that there is a lot of collateral damage left in your wake. The damage isn’t just done to the object of your conflict, but also to you. You have to sustain a lot of energy with your anger in order to power a car-sized reaction. Hitting all conflicts with cars causes high blood pressure, among other ailments. It is not a challenge that effects only me. I see people swatting mosquitoes with bricks and cars all the time. My kids make a daily contest of it. I am still learning appropriate force, but I hope my example in time teaches them better.

Keep these points in mind if you will as I tell you about the lovely journey I had and the revelations I had during it. I promise it will all tie together way before the end of the post, and I will try to make it neatly. ;)

We did a very large cleansing ritual/journey in my Shamanism class. I traveled to the upper world, met with my teachers and many others in the sacred circle I usually visit and I asked to be cleansed of dark energy and such that I had picked up in life, and in my process of being an energetic worker and journeyer. The process was very powerful for me, and for all the class members. I will share with you a bit about my cleansing and what I learned.

My cleansing involved 4 elements: water, air, fire and finally earth. I am going to concentrate my story on the final cleansing; earth. In my journey I became a part of the earth. At first I felt as if I were resting underneath the ground, but soon I became aware that there was a lot going on just over my head on the surface. I could see the land and feel the wind blow through the fields of wildflowers and crops of grain. I could see the roads that crossed me, and feel the tickle of the cars that made their way across me. I could feel the trees and their roots that ran down deeply feeding from me: their source. I could see people playing in parks and children running. I could see men with bulldozers on my surface scratching at my crust to harvest stone and coal. I could feel wild water running down my surface and cutting grooves as it went.

The overwhelming emotion I felt toward every living thing that I encountered was pure, unconditional love. There was an underlying knowledge all the way to my core that I (as the Earth) was eternal, and immortal. I was aware of the changes that were being made on my surface, but I was also aware that I could change any one of them with a thought. The beings that lived because of me did not control me. I felt no anger or resentment; I just knew that I would endure and was in charge of my destiny. I also felt a presence that was not just feminine, as I often think of the earth, but with a definite male aspect as well.

This message was one I desperately needed to feel and hear. For weeks I have been in an anxiety and guilt induced stupor that had left me feeling physically ill. After the extreme high of Daughters of the Moon, and the powerful journeys I had after the retreat, reentry into the real world kicked my butt. I make it a point not to watch the news with regularity, or to get caught up in conspiracy theories. But after the horrors of the Japanese earthquake, and ongoing nuclear contamination in that country; followed by the tornadoes and flooding in my area, I began anew to delve into the world of corporate sponsored news reports and fringe theories.

My ego and shadow self stalked me. They whispered self-important notions about impending doom and oncoming catastrophe. Judgement was coming; I could feel it; and hell was coming with it! I was not stifled by worry, in my own defense, but it was occupying my mind more than I normally allow it to. Then I read a quote on Facebook the other day by Laurelle Shanti Gaia, who is a fellow Reiki master. “When we focus on conspiracy, we are not focusing on truth. May peace and truth BE.” I began to see the rut I had stepped into.

The vision I had in my journey affirmed so many things for me. The first and foremost thing is that we are all unconditionally loved, which is a huge comfort in itself. We are cherished by the earth, and by all the celestial beings I have come in contact with. We are beloved children who are loved in spite of our mistakes. We are loved in spite of our shortcomings. The verses from the bible come to me about the hair on our head being numbered, and about our creator knowing when every sparrow falls. I believe that, and it was reaffirmed to me in such a way that I do not just know it in my mind: I feel it in my every pore down to my soul level.

For years I had attributed the human qualities of anger, retribution and hatred to the beings that made me, sustain me and guide me. They are beyond that. I have no doubt that in many ways their patience is running thin with the beings of this earth, but I don’t think that there will be a huge retribution leveled on us for being ignorant and not growing. If there is retribution, it will be one we have wrought on ourselves. The responsibility and guilt of things I cannot control were cleansed from me. They have been replaced by a need for action.

The earth, our creator and our guides know exactly how much force to exert to make the changes that need to be made to sustain our world and to advance us to higher levels of consciousness. A prayer comes to mind that was taught to me by my first human metaphysical teacher (love you, Gracia): “Please help me to learn the lessons I need to learn in the quickest and the least painful way possible for me.” It was her theory, and it is mine, too that the higher powers start out throwing cotton balls, then small rocks, then maybe we get to the brick and car level of teaching. I think this prayer is especially poignant and beautiful in the world we live in now.

The Earth is the selfless sustainer of my body and my human experience. I will continue to look for ways to live a greener, kinder life. I will endeavor to spread love from my heart every opportunity I get. I will pray for the earth and all those who share it with even more regularity. I will send healing energy to the earth every time I think of it. I will maintain a space of love and hope in my heart for the earth and all those living on her: human, animal, plant and spirit. Namaste.

Friday, May 6, 2011

Maiden, Mother, Crone; a Writing Experiment

A couple of weeks ago I went to a wonderful retreat called "Daughters of the Moon." It was a life changing event for me in many ways. I met so many wonderful women, learned so many new things, danced and sang like a girl and renewed a relationship with Lori. The whole experience was rejuvenating and enriching in many ways.

While at the retreat, I attended a workshop given by Rev. Sonya Miller about her writing techniques. She passed out paper and had us do a writing exercise where we sought ideas from the three aspects of the Goddess; The Maiden, The Mother and The Crone. I just free wrote during these exercises. I let the words flow out of me without trying to make sense out of them. I thought the Crone one was kind of interesting at the time. I reread them all yesterday and decided I liked what they all have to say. Here they are in their roughness and what glory there is:

The Maiden
It is okay to be a work in progress.
Life shapes us as we go.
Sometimes it is more than okay to want to be noticed.
It is not selfish to seek affirmation from others, but it is more fulfilling to find it within yourself.
Give yourself permission to speak your needs, or speak your mind.
Often the thing you are afraid to say is what someone else needs to hear.

The Mother
I wish I loved me like you do
I wish I saw me through your eyes
You seem to understand me
How did you get to be so wise?

You see something in me
I wish I saw in myself
Like drops of rain on a barren field
Flowers will grow from my tears

But without your sun, there would be no color
Without your forge to temper my fears
I wonder how I never saw you
When you had seen me all these years
You had always been near
You saw me

The Crone
You have nothing to prove
You are the source of all your joy and fears
Your path is illuminated
Open your eyes

Don't shy away from the light you possess
Your light is not a gift to you
It is a gift to all

The puzzle needs your piece to be whole
Wiggle around until you fit yourself in
You are a part of the big picture

Don't be discouraged
You are love

I kind of like them all. ;) If you read them together, they sound like a message, and I believe they are. The message might have started out to me, but I think it can be to each of you if you want it to be.

Blessings to you all!